Gardener’s Instruction Manual for Self-Change
It will not happen all at once.
That is simply not the way of things.
There are millions of tiny choices
collapsed into your new self,
seeds scattered by the winds’ hands.
First, choose your location.
Find places of beauty,
the homes to generously growing beings
and gentle weather. Start there.
Dig a bed wide enough to hold what you need,
but narrow enough where you can reach
and touch that which you nurture.
Find spaces that will nourish the new growth
or watch earnest beginnings perish unprotected.
Cast with care and intention.
It does not take long.
Then – wait.
Understand the waiting
is the most important part.
Resist the urge to dig away the dirt
to see how the seeds are growing.
Understand that it will happen
without anyone but yourself
to bear witness,
moments where you did the right thing –
often, nothing at all –
and told no one.
Develop new habits
with the new life in mind.
Go for walks carrying a watering can.
Pull up unwanted influences
as they sneak in, sapping your resolve.
Look closely.
Understand the directions of movement,
decide what parts to trim
in order to focus the growth up or out.
Listen to what it needs,
what is turning yellow, bending over,
becoming unable to thrive.
Understand the life before you
instead of constructing the image
of the life you are after.
When at last you reap the fruits,
wear your humility
in the folds of your raincoat,
the lines crisscrossing your palms.
Understand the gifts you could not make
alone. You did not receive them alone, either.
Notice how your practices shaped the landscape,
inspired other growth.
Notice in your calm body, your steady spirit,
how it shaped you.