Your heart feels the most crowded when you are alone.
After you hang up, the air is still saturated with her voice,
her sorrow hanging over you like a cloud. You cannot
stop breathing it. Intimacy is knowing exactly how someone
feels from hundreds of miles away. Agony is knowing how
someone feels because you are hundreds of miles away.
Guilt is a limbo you float in, unable to soothe a pain that
you did not cause. Repeat this to yourself. You did not cause
this. Breathe out again. Hold her lightly. If you cannot loosen
your grip, imagine your heart as a sleeping baby. Nestle
it into the crook of your arm. Be gentle, steady. Whisper
the softest words into its dreams.
